Dobry Den: The Slovak-Czech Varieties Store

I know that I spend a lot of time bitching about Long Island City, but every once in awhile, I discover something great in the neighborhood. The Slovak-Czech Varieties store has been there for at least a couple of years, but I finally managed to visit on Sunday afternoon. It's a wonderful little enclave with Czech glass, magazines, books, food, tea, and (best of all) children's toys.
If you've ever been to Prague, you know about those Czech wooden toys that you see all over the place. They're super cute, but being the kind of person who despises most knickknacks, I declined to purchase one when I was in Prague. I always sort of regretted it.
Thanks to the Slovak-Czech Varieties store, I got one on Sunday. I highly recommend it as a good place to browse for unusual gifts; the staff and customers are super friendly, too.

Slovak-Czech Varieties, 10-59 Jackson Ave., Long Island City

Lorem Ipsum Apartment Hunting Update

For some reason I cannot remember to take pictures of viewed apartments. I'll tie a string round my finger from now on, promise.
Hell's Kitchen, 225 sq. ft. studio, $1400: With some brokers, it's like they maybe don't have too many friends or something. 'Cause even though I would rather work out our appointment over email, this guy insists we speak on the phone. For like a good 10 minutes. The apartment is on Ninth Avenue, but really it's in a building behind the building on Ninth Avenue. You walk through the first building hallway and then into a courtyard where everyone throws their trash, and then into your building. Apartment is incredibly small but cute; current tenant implies there might be a slight roach problem. Seems slightly sunlight-deprived. A no. Makes me slightly happy, since could admittedly not afford this much rent anyhow.
Park Slope real estate office No. 1: OK, I know what you're thinking, Park Slope?! You're not having a baby! Yes, but I promised myself I'd look outside of Manhattan, and besides, PS brokers have listings for places like Cobble Hill and Carroll Gardens. And I was in the neighborhood. But this broker, like every broker I have ever met in Park Slope, implied that I could not afford to live in their precious little community and tried to send me to Kensington, which she described as "getting groovy." Like three times. I tell her that I have been meaning to go to Vox Pop but that I think Kensington might be too far of a daily commute.
Park Slope real estate office No. 2: Filled out form. Uneventful.
Craigslist: Have emailed at least 30 different postings; have heard back from maybe four or five. I might actually have to start calling people and talking to them on the phone. Ugh.

Jessica Simpson Gets Dumped (Again)

Poor Jess! First things don't work out with Nick Lachey. Then John "O-Face" Mayer dumps her. And now even the Conde Nast delivery guys have kicked her to the curb. Literally.
As I walked to brunch on Sunday morning, I noticed that these boxes of brand-spankin'-new September 2007 Self magazines with Simpson on the cover had been dumped about a block away. There were more than a dozen boxes with Self pouring out, and there were several more boxes with new issues of Conde Nast Traveler.
Did someone just get tired of their job and decide they didn't want to make anymore deliveries? And they dumped them on an abandoned block in LIC 'cause they thought no one would be the wiser? Or were they trying to make a metaphorical comment about the state of Ms. Simpson's love life? Perhaps we shall never know.

Apartment Hunting with Lorem Ipsum!

My apartment search has officially started, and I hope to post pictures and descriptions of some of the ridiculously overpriced dumps I am sure to see during my quest for a roof and four walls. I saw a studio on the Upper West Side (for only $1,200!) on Saturday, and yet, it too was no bueno. I forgot to take pictures (dammit), but vow to do so from now on.

Anyhow, to begin, I'd like to share an email that I received from a gentleman named Andrew. I had responded to Andrew's post for a Lower Manhattan studio for $1,100 (I know, I know, it seemed too good to be true, especially since the pictures he posted made the studio look all shiny and new). But a girl can try. I emailed him, and yesterday, I received this email back:

Hello,

I'm the owner of this apartment, I want to rent this because I have moved out from New York with my job. Now I'm living in London, UK, as I work here. I'm looking for a serios client. The lease could be 1-2 maximum 3 years, as long as I stay here in London.

This apartment is well maintained, and everything it's on place.

Pets are allowed but the floor has to be clean. Regarding parties I also have no problem, decent atmosphere needed.

Payment: Must be made one time per 3 months (4 rates x 3,300 usd per year).

Deposit: I must get paid one month in advance (1,100 usd). After that you will pay me once at the end of that 3 months, mentioned above.

To proceed, I need your final decision and that deposit wired here in London, because I'm depending on that. It will enable me to come back to New York for 2-3 days and make the contract and hand over the keys.

I'm surely convinced that this is a reasonable price and I need SERIOUS OFFERS ONLY !NO BROKERS, only peaceful and law-abiding tenants.

If you have any other questions...go ahead with them.

Thank you...

Andrew

Awesome! Sure, let me wire you a thousand bucks in London. And then you'll come out here and give me the keys afterward? Oh, OK, I totally believe you. Sounds great, "Andrew."

Gentrification Kind of a Bitch, Generally Unsatisfying in the End

Cynthia Ozick wrote one of my favorite essays, "The Synthetic Sublime," in which she marvels at the way that New York manages to reinvent itself every few years. Gritty neighborhoods are transformed into hip neighborhoods, a downtown strip is renovated until it's rendered unrecognizable, an empty lot sprouts new condos, a building is destroyed by fire; our landmarks are constantly changing.

New York neighborhoods are always shedding their past lives to become something new, and Williamsburg's "shedding" is really starting to piss me off. I find myself, rather than embracing the neighborhood I came to know and love, being beyond annoyed at it. I spent Sunday afternoon there, getting my hair cut and selling clothes at Buffalo Exchange and drinking beers and reading a book in the garden at the always pleasant Soft Spot.

And what bothered me so much? Who knows...a snaky line of hipsters waiting to see Blonde Redhead, too, too many, it was sad, somehow, all that waiting. A trio of obnoxious assholes thrusting ironic T-shirts into the air like flags at Buffalo Exchange. The new cafes (even a sweets shop!) that make it look like the Hamptons. Me, annoyed at a Williamsburg where Galapagos and Northsix, among others, got forced out. I remember an acquaintance saying once that he didn't want to live in Williamsburg anymore cause it was like a college town.

I disagreed then, but yesterday it seemed a college town to me, and I found something uncontrollably and inexplicably frustrating about it. I ran into three people I knew within a matter of five minutes (go State College!) and maybe I'm annoyed in the same way that the old-timers who sit outside on their stoops must have been annoyed at me and all the people who got there before me. But I at least tried to be friendly and smile sweetly and say, "Good morning" or "Good night."

But these people! It sucks when a neighborhood becomes less of a place to live and more of a place to be seen. That's how I feel about it right now, but I hope that I find something to change my mind.

This conversation below isn't it. From 11222 via New York Shitty:

Earnest young wanna-be-yuppie type with phone glued to ear:
"Yeah, so I think I'm going to go in on this real estate thing...well, I know I've never done it before, but I think it's a really good idea...I just didn't see anything I liked in Williamsburg... well, this Greenpoint, it's definitely up-and-coming...of course, there are no *guarantees*, but, this place, there's like absolutely nowhere to go out, something has to change...it's got this really weird neighborhood-y vibe to it, you should see some of the people who live there..."

Overheard Cell Phone Conversation

Dear Mother Jones, I Love You, But Stop

Dear Mother Jones:
You know I think you're great and all, but you've become like an overbearing boyfriend with these email blasts you insist on sending me like every freaking day, and it's really kind of getting tiresome. If I want to read your online content, I know it's there now and I don't need 80 reminders a week to go to your Web site.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Reader

UPDATE: I have gotten at least two more newsletters since this post, but duh, there's an unsubscribe option. Genius.

Someone Missed a Crucial Day of Journalism 101 Freshman Year

Hi, Los Angeles newscaster, Mirthala Salinas! How's it going? What's that? Not so good? How come? You just got suspended from your job without pay for two months? That's awful! What happened? Really? You reported on the breakup of L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and his wife and you got in trouble for it? That doesn't sound right! Oh, seriously? You're screwing Villaraigosa? And you're the reason for the breakup? And you failed to note that conflict of interest? Huh, yeah, that was a really bad idea, Mirthala.

Newscaster Suspended Over Affair

The Border Between Astoria and LIC Is Referred to as ASSLIC? This Makes Perfect Sense

I am really glad to be moving in the fall.

Kunt City

You Can Practically Hear the Sound of Elle Magazine Choking As I Write This

Today in the Styles section, the NY Times is mean to Elle:

"THE most glamorous thing about the offices of Elle magazine is that they have an excellent view of Condé Nast, eight blocks to the south, where Vogue and GQ and Vanity Fair exist in movie-set-worthy splendor and Town Cars idle in perpetuity," the story begins.

Funny, but true. The Elle offices do have an accounting firm/government building feel to them. And to the north there is a lovely view of the Hearst Tower, which is even lovelier inside, and it makes you frown because you are reminded that you do not work there.

Hachette is kind of a shaky, precarious place to work. Like you feel you could be shut down any second. Trust your intuition on that one; you will be.

Even Elle, Hachette's prima donna child, has gotten screwed lately: "In Elle’s transition to a post-Gilles Bensimon era, it has been plagued by reports of budget cuts, canceled trips for editors to the couture shows in Paris and reduced access to car services. Twenty of its 59 editorial staff members and freelancers on the masthead have departed this year..."

Isn't Nina Garcia still there? Why hasn't she left yet? And it's kinda like, if you're Hachette, why would you screw with Elle, your best known magazine? Seriously, if Elle goes away, what have you got left? Car and Driver? That's depressing.

I would like to end with this quote from the story:

"“Vogue represents the ideal of fashion,” said Italo Zucchelli, the men’s designer for Calvin Klein. “Elle is for real people. It does its job, but I never read it.”

Ouch.

Elle Has a Little Work Done

I Prefer Sunday Crosswords to Sunday DJs, But Maybe That's Just Me

Not-so-good idea: Williamsburg's new diner (24 hours!) pairs its Sunday brunch with drinks (good) and DJs (heh?). Isn't the point of Sunday brunch to relax and get Saturday night out of your system?
Rock Brunch

Awesome idea: A group is pushing to turn Williamsburg's abandoned Domino Sugar Factory into "New York's answer to the Tate Modern in London." Alas, plans for residential conversion are already underway, making it unlikely that Williamsburg will get its own waterfront museum.
An Alternate Proposal for Domino Sugar Factory

Questionable idea: My lease is up in two months (I am dumping LIC) and I'm trying to decide where I might head next. I have considered Bushwick as an alternative to some of Brooklyn's pricier neighborhoods, but this comment on BushwickBK really makes it sound no better than LIC:

"I would love to hang out in Bushwick more, but there’s…nothing to do most of the time. Really. Now don’t jump on me for saying it, but I’m a single girl without roommates. I’ve gotten friends to come play croquet in the park with me once. There’s no local bar near me. (Yay for a bar on Starr St.) There aren’t a lot of events in the neighborhood. (No free movies, few concerts that I know of.)"

Yikes. At least LIC has P.S.1.
More Bushwick Rumors