Boys Just Wanna Have Fun

Last week I finished up at Martha, and this week I spent time on the research desk of a men's mag. While I love working at Martha and all, boys are so much more fun! Here's a list of some subjects I fact-checked this week:

1. Cannibalism, including a guy who invited a woman over for dinner, shot her, and then ate her boob.
2. Artificial blood, what it is, and what is it good for?
3. Marijuana: I have never been a fan of pot, but I can now tell you the difference between sativa and indica.
4. Porn. Seriously, this was fascinating. Who knew that so many people were making YouTube-style amateur videos on XTube and YouPorn? I mean, duh, people make sex videos all the time (I mean, I assume!), but I didn't realize that it had become so, well, prosaic.

As you can see, it was a fun change from the land of chicken Kiev recipes and closet organization tips. I'm working at the men's mag for another day or two (gonna miss it!), and then I'm off to a weekly city mag for a month. It's somewhere I've applied about 800 times in the last few years, but they're super cliquey so it's hard to get in. Somehow the 801st time was a charm. Wish me luck!

Oh, the Irony of It All

On the heels of my entry about America Ferrera and Glamour slimming down her lovely figure for its latest cover, I came across the Magazine Death Pool via Gawker. The site has a Dead Magazine Museum, which I was happy to see features the long-lost publication I once worked for.

However, I also noted a magazine called Mode that folded in September 2001. Mode, as you probably know, is also the name of the fictional Vogue-esque magazine that America Ferrera works at on Ugly Betty. Ironically, though, the real Mode was a mag for plus-sized ladies; its cover advertised "Smile in Sizes 12, 14, 16..." I guess they weren't allowed to promote anything higher than a 16 on the cover (or anyone from the waist down), but the ellipses give you the gist of things.

So the fictional Mode on Ugly Betty would surely follow in Glamour's footsteps when confronted with a less-than-teensy actress and Photoshop her to death; the real Mode (pictured) would have featured the actual actress in all her glory, but it folded, so never mind. Maybe it folded because they needed a new fashion editor -- I mean, come on, look at this girl. Why is she wearing a nasty hat that looks like someone skinned a cow and plopped it on her head and such a dull bikini that doesn't look like it has much support and maybe was purchased on the buck-99 rack at Dress Barn? Ah, Mode, it's great that you loved all body types, but maybe your downfall was for the best. You could have taught thousands of women to dress like hookers; thanks to whoever put the kibosh on that.

America Ferrera: Countdown to Anorexia

Not that she should stop eating, but she will. I started thinking about this after reading all the hullabaloo over her recent Glamour cover on Glossed Over and Jezebel. People are making such a big deal about the fact that the cover was obviously Photoshopped; they whittled America down to a skinny lady. Not super skinny, but smaller than she is in person. Enough to notice, let's say.

Anyhow, it would be nice to think that someone other than Kate Winslet had the balls to stand up to the Hollywood standard of what skinny is, but history teaches us otherwise. America Ferrera seems like a nice, wholesome girl from a good family, but yeah, I predict anorexia/bulimia any day now. It seems too tough to be in a Hollywood environment and hear everyone say, "Oh, that's great, you're so curvy," knowing that they really mean, "Man, that sucks, you're totally huge." She's not, of course, but you know, Hollywood is warped, etc.

This all made me think of that girl Sara Rue (whose name I couldn't remember at first) and she starred on that show, Less than Perfect, which you may or may not remember. She was totally adorable on the show and then I guess after she started to lose all this weight and now I think she looks like Tracey Gold from Growing Pains back in her Karen Carpenter phase. I present as evidence:



OK, maybe not Karen Carpenter; I mean, she obviously looks pretty here and not sick, but maybe it's just the idea that she looks more like all the other H-wood gals now, like she lost her spunk or something. I forget the name of that show that Selma Blair was on when she was first starting out, but the same thing happened to her. She was probably like 125 pounds or something, and people made fun of her and called her huge, and then she got super skinny, too. Nicole Richie, of course, also -- and now it's hard to remember a time when she looked normal (even now, knocked up). I give it six months before we start seeing split-screens of America Ferrera before-and-afters in US Weekly with the headline, "Has She Gone Too Far?"

You Can Practically Hear the Sound of Elle Magazine Choking As I Write This

Today in the Styles section, the NY Times is mean to Elle:

"THE most glamorous thing about the offices of Elle magazine is that they have an excellent view of Condé Nast, eight blocks to the south, where Vogue and GQ and Vanity Fair exist in movie-set-worthy splendor and Town Cars idle in perpetuity," the story begins.

Funny, but true. The Elle offices do have an accounting firm/government building feel to them. And to the north there is a lovely view of the Hearst Tower, which is even lovelier inside, and it makes you frown because you are reminded that you do not work there.

Hachette is kind of a shaky, precarious place to work. Like you feel you could be shut down any second. Trust your intuition on that one; you will be.

Even Elle, Hachette's prima donna child, has gotten screwed lately: "In Elle’s transition to a post-Gilles Bensimon era, it has been plagued by reports of budget cuts, canceled trips for editors to the couture shows in Paris and reduced access to car services. Twenty of its 59 editorial staff members and freelancers on the masthead have departed this year..."

Isn't Nina Garcia still there? Why hasn't she left yet? And it's kinda like, if you're Hachette, why would you screw with Elle, your best known magazine? Seriously, if Elle goes away, what have you got left? Car and Driver? That's depressing.

I would like to end with this quote from the story:

"“Vogue represents the ideal of fashion,” said Italo Zucchelli, the men’s designer for Calvin Klein. “Elle is for real people. It does its job, but I never read it.”

Ouch.

Elle Has a Little Work Done