These Shoes Are Not Cute At All, Ms. Portman, Not Cute At All!

As an animal lover and vegetarian (except for fish, I know, I'm so ashamed), I'm really glad that Natalie Portman came out with a vegan line of shoes. Usually vegan lines are super ugly because the designers assume that they're for crunchy girls who enjoy pigtails, granola, and long hikes in Vermont woods. God bless people like the wonderful Stella McCartney who realize that you can be animal-friendly and extremely stylish!

So, yeah, way to go, Natalie! Except: These shoes are not cute! Seriously, they look like you designed them for 23-year-olds who wear Ann Taylor suits and work administrative office jobs in Omaha. Even though the Paloma style (not the one pictured here) is sorta OK, it still has an ankle strap which makes short girls (I am raising my hand here) look even shorter! No good!

Here's hoping that Natalie's designs will continue to evolve and become more inventive, cause she's doing a good thing. And, with any luck, more designers—like Stella!—will choose to use animal-friendly materials.

Pretty Please, Ms. Rowley, With Sugar on Top

Hi Ms. Cynthia Rowley,

Big fan! Love ya! I was really thrilled when I heard via WWD that you were going to be designing for Target again. I pictured a string of fun summer dresses, all reasonably priced at $70 or less. (To be honest, I used to frequent your shop on Bleecker Street; I couldn't really afford the dresses, but I had a CREDIT CARD! Oh, credit! Well, I don't have a credit card anymore and I'm slightly in debt, so I can't come to Bleecker Street anymore. Anyhow.) Yay, Cynthia at Target! I got really excited. And then I read:

According to sources, Whim [Cynthia's line] will not be part of the Go International initiative, and there will be no apparel. Instead, it will focus on novelty items such as outdoor games and inflatable pools, all given Rowley's irreverent touch.

Come on! It would make perfect sense for you to design clothing for Target. Please? Not that outdoor games and inflatable things don't sound just lovely, but we want dresses!

Sincerely,
Lorem Ipsum

Rowley Roars Back

You Can Practically Hear the Sound of Elle Magazine Choking As I Write This

Today in the Styles section, the NY Times is mean to Elle:

"THE most glamorous thing about the offices of Elle magazine is that they have an excellent view of Condé Nast, eight blocks to the south, where Vogue and GQ and Vanity Fair exist in movie-set-worthy splendor and Town Cars idle in perpetuity," the story begins.

Funny, but true. The Elle offices do have an accounting firm/government building feel to them. And to the north there is a lovely view of the Hearst Tower, which is even lovelier inside, and it makes you frown because you are reminded that you do not work there.

Hachette is kind of a shaky, precarious place to work. Like you feel you could be shut down any second. Trust your intuition on that one; you will be.

Even Elle, Hachette's prima donna child, has gotten screwed lately: "In Elle’s transition to a post-Gilles Bensimon era, it has been plagued by reports of budget cuts, canceled trips for editors to the couture shows in Paris and reduced access to car services. Twenty of its 59 editorial staff members and freelancers on the masthead have departed this year..."

Isn't Nina Garcia still there? Why hasn't she left yet? And it's kinda like, if you're Hachette, why would you screw with Elle, your best known magazine? Seriously, if Elle goes away, what have you got left? Car and Driver? That's depressing.

I would like to end with this quote from the story:

"“Vogue represents the ideal of fashion,” said Italo Zucchelli, the men’s designer for Calvin Klein. “Elle is for real people. It does its job, but I never read it.”

Ouch.

Elle Has a Little Work Done