At Least She Never Screamed at Me For Using Wire Hangers

So, if your mother sends you, via UPS, a package that contains CortiSlim, "slimming" undergarments, $100 (thanks, mom!) and dog biscuits, what exactly does that mean?
Yes, just that: Your mother thinks you're a fat-ass. Although, I'm going to assume that the dog biscuits are for my cocker spaniel, not me.
For the record: You are a size 6 and you still love your mother.