This is a new feature on Lorem Ipsum, in which I'll choose a particularly sad and pathetic Craigslist personal. Natasha, a 25-year old with a penchant for bad boys, almost won after I read her ad, which requests that ex-cons contact her. She's only interested in men who have been to prison, and if you haven't, don't bother.Still, I couldn't be sure that Natasha was such a loser. Sure it looks that way; but she also could be a very successful woman with poor grammar and a fetish for perps. Some men, especially those who've been cooped up in a cell for awhile, might even find this Natasha girl appealing.
So our winner is this 22-year-old girl from Jersey. She sounds like a hoot! She doesn't know what you're going to do on the first date. (Eating, drinking, sex and even holding hands are total no-nos!) But I'm sure you'll think of something. Here's some things you should know about your new gal:
She's starving herself for the next month.
She's not drinking alcohol for the next month.
She's not going to sleep with you on the first date.
She bears a striking resemblance to Cousin Itt from The Addams Family.
She will see to it that your first date includes a quiz on current events.
So good luck, kids! Also, she notes that guys with facial deformities, married men and baldies need not apply. Sweet girl.
Wine and Dine Me...Well, Not Really
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